And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
