IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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