My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
pray to the hookup gods
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
