Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
