Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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