Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
