lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
