just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize