Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize