once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
