I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
