no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
