So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
