the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
