we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
