why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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