Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
