Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
