I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
