Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
