i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize