I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
