do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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