I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
