Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
