Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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