Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
