Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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