Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I can text with my tongue
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I understand Curling. That high.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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