i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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