I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize