wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
