so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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