so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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