I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
