You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
