I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
