i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
