i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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