We need to rekindle our bromance
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
