Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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