i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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