my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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