I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
