He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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