is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
