Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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