C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
