Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize