we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
