Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
