So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
