your room smells of hookers.
And success
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
