Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can I color on your dick again?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
