So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
