the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
