just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
