Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
