my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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