Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
