At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
